1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,679
Michael! Michael!

2
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,039
- Were they barbecuing last night?
- Who?

3
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,599
Him, next door, and his girlfriend.

4
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,639
His name's Michael and she's not his
girlfriend.

5
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,959
Right, well, whoever she is.
Anyway, how do you know?

6
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,519
I bumped into her at the shop.

7
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,719
- Kacey. She's nice.
- Whatever.

8
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,919
Right, they were barbecuing,
because I smelled it.

9
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,440
It was just a bonfire.

10
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,240
There are coals on our drive.

11
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,439
Right? They're chucking barbecue
coals on our drive.

12
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,239
What? Why?

13
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,999
I've no idea why.

14
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,119
Why would someone chuck barbecue
coals?

15
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,759
I have no idea what goes through
that man's head. OK?

16
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,839
It's some sort of game he's playing
with me. Thinks he can get to me.

17
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,039
You know, thinks he can get under
my skin.

18
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,159
Who are you phoning?

19
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,199
The council.
Antisocial behaviour.

20
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,280
It's only eight o'clock.
There'll be no-one there.

21
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,560
Right. I've got to go.

22
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,679
Go and knock on for him and tell him
to clean it up.

23
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,879
But take photos first, all right?
For evidence.

24
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,039
And then phone the council and
report it.

25
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,839
Antisocial behaviour.

26
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,559
Yes, sir.

27
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,519
The Wise Man's Song
by Cinder Wells

28
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,079
♪ I know we're older now

29
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,520
♪ And lost again

30
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:07,319
♪ Down at the cul-de-sac

31
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,640
♪ You left, my friend

32
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:19,560
♪ Will you come back,
come back again?

33
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:30,959
♪ Will you come back,
come back again?

34
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,599
♪ I put the kettle on

35
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,239
♪ The wise man sung for you ♪

36
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,600
Hi, Hilary.

37
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,640
OK, I'll come over.

38
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,679
Oh, hello, love.

39
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,559
Thanks for ringing. Is he OK?

40
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,559
I don't know, love. He's stressing
about something,

41
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,039
but I can't figure it out.
I don't think he really knows.

42
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,120
- He's in his room.
- Cheers.

43
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:27,239
Oh... Oh, it's you.
They better not have called you.

44
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,644
Did they call you?

45
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,256
I've just come to
see you, like I always do.

46
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,800
I told them not to disturb you.

47
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,439
What's up, Dad? Hilary says you're
getting stressed.

48
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,159
Are you worried about something?

49
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,359
It's all this toot,
you know, crowding me in.

50
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,199
I-I-I'll have to sort it out.
I can't find anything.

51
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,519
OK, I can help you with that.

52
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,879
Is there something that you're
looking for?

53
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,319
Yeah, well, what was it
he said was lost?

54
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,519
Something hidden.

55
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,119
- Sorry, who's this?
- Him!

56
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,319
Him who came looking for something.

57
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,879
A book, a bird book.

58
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,799
Dad, you're getting in a state now.
You're getting right confused.

59
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,079
They're constantly getting at me,
asking me to find things.

60
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,279
OK, I'll tell you what,
I can take some away today.

61
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,519
Let's fill a box with stuff that you
don't think you'll need, and I'll

62
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,319
keep it at my house until
you need it again.

63
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,079
No, you can throw it all away. I
don't want any of it. It's all junk.

64
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,280
Come on, Dad, let's sort through
some and we can take it from there.

65
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,879
What you got there?

66
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,999
It's my old pal Vic Wiffen.

67
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,319
Passed away.

68
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,159
Not, uh, not many of us left now.

69
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,559
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
That's your friend from Canada.

70
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,239
Yeah, yeah. I got a letter from him
only a week ago.

71
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:41,200
I was always going to go and
visit him but, uh, too late now.

72
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,479
Did you just find this?

73
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,599
Hmm?

74
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,920
Nothing.

75
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,919
You say you had a letter from him
last week?

76
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,840
Couple of days ago.
It's on the side there.

77
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,719
He asked about you.

78
00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,960
Always asked about you.

79
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,600
Legend.

80
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,439
Excuse me.

81
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,720
- Hello, love.
- Do you sell tit boxes?

82
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,879
Tit boxes?

83
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,920
Yes.

84
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,160
- Boxes for...?
- Tits.

85
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,480
Hmm...

86
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,440
Blue tits?

87
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,919
- Like a nesting box?
- Yes.

88
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,800
They'll be in the garden section
if we have them. It's, er...

89
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,120
I'm sorry, it doesn't look
like we do.

90
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,120
Oh, well.

91
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,039
I tell you what, I might
be able to help.

92
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,840
- Might you?
- Yeah, think so.

93
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,320
Can you come back in, like, an hour?

94
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,839
Yeah, all right. I'll go do the
rest of my shopping.

95
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,519
Smashing. See you back here.

96
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,960
- In an hour?
- That's it.

97
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,919
Nine Pound Hammer
by Little Grasscals

98
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,039
♪ Oh, the nine-pound hammer
is a little too heavy

99
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,079
♪ Baby, for my size

100
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,439
♪ Honey, for my size

101
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,279
♪ Roll on, buddy,
don't you roll so slow

102
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,080
♪ How can I roll
when the wheels won't roll?

103
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,559
♪ So roll on, buddy,
don't you roll so slow

104
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,039
♪ How can I roll
when the wheels won't go? ♪

105
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,839
Michael, what the hell...?

106
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,780
What the he...?

107
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,560
What are you doing?

108
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,999
Tit box.

109
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,599
Customer wanted one.

110
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,079
Michael, what's wrong with you?
This is not a...

111
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,479
We don't... If we don't sell

112
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,039
- something, we don't make it on...
- Oh, here she comes.

113
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,519
Hello, madam. There you go.

114
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,119
Oh, that's lovely, thank you!

115
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,439
Hello, Gordon.

116
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,879
Hello, Mrs Stewart.

117
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,479
How's your mum? She all right?

118
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,439
She's well, thank you, Mrs Stewart.

119
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,760
How much is this?

120
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,880
Erm, it's on us, Mrs Stewart,
with our compliments.

121
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,039
Thanks! Give my love to your mum.

122
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,400
Bye, love.

123
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,919
Why didn't we come back to work
yesterday?

124
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,999
- "We"?
- You.

125
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,879
You said "don't bother coming back".

126
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,879
As a threat!

127
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,399
As in, "if you leave, don't bother
coming back because you're fired".

128
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,999
An employer is not allowed to refuse
an employee reasonable time off

129
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,839
in order to deal with an unexpected
event involving a dependant.

130
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,359
Because that would be
unfair dismissal.

131
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,079
And you would be guilty of
unfair dismissal.

132
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,880
And I would take you to court
for unfair dismissal.

133
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,960
Get this cleaned up.

134
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,119
All right?

135
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,160
Yeah.

136
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,239
Here, listen to this.

137
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,541
My dad got this letter from his
friend in Canada.

138
00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:34,922
All right.

139
00:10:35,321 --> 00:10:37,599
"Dear Brian, thank you for
your last letter.

140
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,439
"All's well here across the pond
although the winter's still..."

141
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,600
Goes on a bit.

142
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,199
And then, "How's your boy Michael?

143
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,359
"I'm always interested to hear
what he's up to. Is he well?

144
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,519
"Did he ever find a new partner
and settle down?

145
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,279
"Is he happy these days? I hope so."

146
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,240
Blah, blah, blah...
"Your dear friend, Vic."

147
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,159
So?

148
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,359
Well, number one, I don't think I've
ever met the bloke, so I don't know

149
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,159
why he's so interested in
what I'm up to.

150
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,519
Well, he's just being friendly.

151
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,439
And number two, he died
over a decade ago.

152
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,159
Died?

153
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,519
Passed away, dead, in 2009.

154
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,479
And how old's the letter?

155
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,880
Written two weeks ago.

156
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,240
- Canada?
- Yep.

157
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,959
Are you sure he's dead?

158
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,199
I've seen the order of service
from the funeral.

159
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,359
I googled him, found his obituary.
He's dead all right.

160
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,079
Weird.

161
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,799
Can ghosts write letters?

162
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,320
I know they can't lick stamps.

163
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,280
All right, Michael?

164
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,079
Hello, Brigham.

165
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,120
- Kacey?
- Brigham.

166
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,592
He was slagging you off yesterday.
Gordon.

167
00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:01,256
Oh, yeah?

168
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,679
When you didn't come back to work.
Said he was going to fire you.

169
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,040
Yeah? Not that bothered.

170
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,799
Not bothered about getting fired?

171
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,760
Not really, if I'm honest.

172
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,239
Don't...

173
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,640
You don't want to...

174
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560
Are you OK?

175
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,519
..get yourself fired, mate.

176
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,680
Why not?

177
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,159
Who's going to make me laugh?

178
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,160
Who's going to come to work on a
long bike?

179
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,760
Be shit without you here, mate.

180
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,160
Right. Erm, cheers, Brigham.

181
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,520
Whatever!

182
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,119
- Hello?
- It's Roy.

183
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,919
- Can you speak?
- Not really.

184
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,359
I need to come over to the house
with a surveyor.

185
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,840
Why? When?

186
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,679
You know why.

187
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,039
When?

188
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,399
- When's convenient?
- None! No time!

189
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,360
- OK. Well, I'm going to come now.
- You can't - look, it's, it's not...

190
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,600
Hey, how are you doing, Michael?

191
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,837
Yeah, not bad.

192
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,861
I was just
wondering if you had an update

193
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,359
on the hedge situation?

194
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,240
Yeah. Er, no. I'm sorry,
I don't know.

195
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,000
Well, I think the chaffinches might
be gone by now, so...

196
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,199
You had a bird book the other day.

197
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,599
Yeah. The chaffinches.

198
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,880
Where did you get it from?

199
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,440
- The book?
- Yes.

200
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,039
Um, I think it was my dad's.

201
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,359
My dad's?

202
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,719
No, MY dad's.

203
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,959
Did you go and see my dad?

204
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,440
- Your dad?
- Yes. At the nursing home?

205
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,559
- Your dad?
- And ask him for a bird book?

206
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,639
You what? Sorry, I don't think I
understand this conversation.

207
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,919
Yes.

208
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,200
It's confusing.

209
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,439
Old Enough by Cinder Well

210
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,960
♪ Old enough

211
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,400
♪ You are old enough

212
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,399
♪ To know the way

213
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,560
♪ This is going

214
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,520
♪ Walk me home

215
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:34,360
♪ The long way home

216
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,680
♪ And go away

217
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,720
♪ You're not going

218
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:53,679
♪ I am golden in the evening

219
00:15:53,680 --> 00:16:00,559
♪ We are bolder in the morning

220
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,719
♪ And the long grass

221
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,759
♪ It is grown

222
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,879
♪ Over the steps

223
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,400
♪ Of the door... ♪

224
00:16:29,401 --> 00:16:30,680
Oh, shit.

225
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,999
Hello, Michael. I'm sorry.
I'm not doing this to be a shit.

226
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,679
But, erm, I'm desperate, mate.

227
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,399
I'm bankrupt.

228
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,039
It's been a long time coming and
this house, it belongs to me.

229
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,159
Sorry. Who's that?

230
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,479
She's a surveyor.

231
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,759
I just wanted her to come and have a
look around so we can figure out

232
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,880
what needs to be done before people
can start viewing the property.

233
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,320
Nice to meet you, Michael.

234
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,319
So, can we, erm...
Can we come in, please?

235
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,639
Well, I've set some chairs up in
the garden, actually.

236
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,639
We've come to see the house, mate,
not the garden.

237
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,159
Well, you need to give me more time
to tidy up and stuff.

238
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,719
Hey! I need some more time
to tidy up. Roy!

239
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,599
Jesus Christ, what is all this shit?
What are you stockpiling?

240
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,480
It's this way. Come through.

241
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,880
Come through. It's this way.

242
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,720
Erm...

243
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,760
Oh, my God, look at this!

244
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,279
It's Christmas, 1979!

245
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,039
There's me, Mum, Clea.

246
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,759
Yeah, would you like to come
through?

247
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,159
The Action Man helicopter.

248
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,000
Mum thought it came with an
Action Man, but didn't.

249
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,040
I never did get an Action Man.

250
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,360
It's this way.

251
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,919
What's that?

252
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,079
Manure.

253
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,160
Stinks.

254
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:22,679
The house is going on the market in
three weeks' time, Michael.

255
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,959
Three weeks?

256
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:28,279
Sorry, Michael, you've got no
choice. It's going to happen.

257
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,097
I'm sorry, I thought you were a
surveyor.

258
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:31,176
Solicitor.

259
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,959
You said that she was a surveyor.

260
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,760
Did I? I meant solicitor.

261
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,439
Well, I'll need to talk to my
solicitor.

262
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,159
- You don't have a solicitor.
- Then I shall get a solicitor.

263
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,919
- You should get one.
- I'm going to get a solicitor.

264
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,359
It would be much easier if I had a
lawyer to deal with.

265
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,959
Easier? For who?

266
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,599
For everyone, Michael. Christ!

267
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,479
Do not make this more difficult than
it needs to be, please.

268
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,679
And the house obviously needs
to be cleared.

269
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,199
- What's in the boxes?
- I don't know.

270
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,199
- What do you mean, you don't know?
- I mean, I don't know.

271
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,639
I don't know what's in the boxes.
They're not mine.

272
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,319
- Well, whose are they, then?
- They're your sister's.

273
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,839
They're Clea's.

274
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,719
It's stock that she left behind in
locks-ups when she went.

275
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,240
Second-hand books, I think, mainly.

276
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,159
Right, well we can help you
to get rid of them.

277
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,519
Oh, get rid of them?

278
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,240
To figure out what to do with them.

279
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,840
So, what else do you need to know?

280
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,640
So much, mate.

281
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,200
So much.

282
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,599
Hiya, it's me.

283
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,559
Do you want to come round?

284
00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,960
It's time.

285
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,479
I think we should probably
wear these too,

286
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,159
- just to be on the safe side.
- No, mate.

287
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,399
Look, whatever's supposed to have
happened to them in their little

288
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,959
shit pit, has either happened
or it hasn't, right?

289
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,719
Me wearing a Dunelm dressing gown
isn't going to change anything.

290
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,080
Fair enough.

291
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,000
Right, I'm going in.

292
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,400
OK.

293
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,719
- Hello, Kacey.
- Hiya, Bev.

294
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,559
This is Clive, my husband.
Clive, this is Kacey.

295
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,319
Oh, cool. How are you doing, Kacey?

296
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,239
Has he got you slaving, has he?

297
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,559
Slaving? No, mate, I'm just...
I'm just helping out.

298
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,599
Oh, God, yeah. Probably can't say
that nowadays.

299
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,319
- No, you can't.
- Yeah.

300
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,559
- It's a minefield, isn't it?
- Yeah, not really.

301
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,919
What are you wearing that for?

302
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,919
Well, I don't want to get dirty,
do I, Bev?

303
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,159
You wally!

304
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160
- Right, I'll see you later, love.
- See you later, Kacey.

305
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,919
- Why do you always do that?
- Do what?

306
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,245
Pretend to be nice.

307
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:16,576
What the hell's
that supposed to mean?

308
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,479
Well, I know you're going to say
something

309
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,800
fucking horrible about her now.

310
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,879
- Oh, I can't find 'em!
- What...?

311
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,879
They must've sunk into the ground.

312
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,680
They should be right here.

313
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:36,999
Argh!

314
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,799
Ah! Oh!

315
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,359
Kacey, I nearly went under!

316
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,759
What the...?
What's going on? Where are they?

317
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,239
I don't know. Just wa...
Wait, wait.

318
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,280
- Hold me arm.
- I am!

319
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,239
OK, OK, I've got 'em. Yeah,
they've gone right under.

320
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,599
- Oh.
- Pull us out.

321
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,280
Argh!

322
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,320
We're going to have to
rethink this.

323
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,959
I can feel it.

324
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,159
Is it the right way up?

325
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,999
Yeah, I've got it by its neck.

326
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,200
Right, give it a gentle pull.

327
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,839
Here it comes.

328
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,960
Gently.

329
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,559
- You got it?
- Yeah.

330
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,240
OK, take her inside.

331
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:01,000
Here she comes.

332
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,240
I've got her.

333
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,199
Hurry up!

334
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,840
All right! Bloody hell.

335
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,400
Here.

336
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,600
- Ugh!
- Yeah.

337
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,279
They've grown.

338
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,679
Have they reached the
stage of whatever?

339
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,559
The state of divination.

340
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,759
I don't know.

341
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,199
How do you find out?

342
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,000
I have to ask 'em a question.

343
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,679
Go on, then.

344
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:36,727
I don't know what to ask.

345
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,096
Mate, you
told me what you wanted to ask.

346
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,479
Yeah, but we should ask them a test
question first.

347
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,400
You know, see if it works.

348
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,866
So, what can they answer
questions on?

349
00:24:47,891 --> 00:24:48,816
Anything.

350
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,600
The future, the past, anything.

351
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,240
OK. OK, yeah.

352
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,359
We'll use these.

353
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,639
Yeah? Pick a card and get it
to tell us what it is.

354
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,159
- OK.
- Yeah.

355
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,920
- How will it tell us?
- Mate, I don't know.

356
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,000
Go on, ask it. Talk to it.

357
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,960
Do you want to play cards?

358
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,439
- Yeah? Cards?
- Your Majesty.

359
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,920
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Erm, would you like
to play cards, Your Majesty?

360
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,319
OK!

361
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,759
Er, OK, erm, Your Majesty,

362
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,920
what card will I take from
the top of the deck?

363
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,599
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God.

364
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,080
The four of hearts.

365
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,639
Wait. Shuffle them again.

366
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:50,959
Why? He's chosen.

367
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,399
Yeah, but if he's predicting the
future, you can shuffle them again.

368
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,319
You can shuffle them as many times
as you like.

369
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,680
It won't make a difference.

370
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,880
Once more.

371
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,199
Holy shit!

372
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,639
OK!

373
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,440
All right, Your Majesty, again.

374
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,080
Seven of diamonds?

375
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,959
Well, I guess it works!

376
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,239
OK! OK, so we know that they can
predict the future.

377
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,759
What else can they do? Can they...
Can they solve a crime?

378
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,079
- Tell you your deepest secret?
- I suppose so.

379
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,839
- What about someone else's secret?
- Yeah. I suppose.

380
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,079
Your Majesty,
I would like you to tell me...

381
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,439
..when was the last time Michael
cried?

382
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,359
- Whoa! Whoa! Hang on, no.
- I'm just asking her a question!

383
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,880
You can't do that!

384
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,439
- Did you cry at Brokeback Mountain?
- Well, I mean,

385
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,279
- you know, it's a sad film.
- Brilliant!

386
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,439
OK, what else?
What else can we ask?

387
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,239
Are there any sports happening now?

388
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,680
There must be, somewhere in the
world, right?

389
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,159
Yes! Here. Copenhagen versus
Skanderborg,

390
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,279
Danish women's handball.

391
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,959
There's, like, ten minutes left.

392
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,720
OK, OK, so what do we ask?

393
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,519
Your Majesty,

394
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,359
right now, Ajax Kobenhavn...

395
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,119
It's "eye-ax".

396
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:39,239
..are playing Skanderborg at home
in Denmark.

397
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,680
Can you tell me,
will Copenhagen win?

398
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,600
So the other team, Skanderborg,
are going to win?

399
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,200
And what will the final score be?

400
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,199
31-29.

401
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,399
OK. What's the score now?

402
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,879
28 all.

403
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,079
Come on!

404
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,640
Oh, my God!

405
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,440
Come here!

406
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:26,704
_